


Rag-Tag Team

by Cyane



Category: X-Men (Movieverse)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Charles Is a Big Dorkface, Erik is Crushing Harder than a 12-year Old Girl, Fluff, Friendship, Light Angst, M/M, Peter is Pietro, Prompt Fill, Short & Sweet, Strong Sailor Language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-24
Updated: 2016-12-24
Packaged: 2018-09-11 17:39:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9000313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cyane/pseuds/Cyane
Summary: During the long and awkward drive to the plane, Erik spontaneously kisses Charles, Hank nearly crashes the car, Erik and Peter believe that Charles is a drug addict, and Peter lets on that he might be a bit of a criminal. And Logan sleeps through most of it.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [englisharpen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/englisharpen/gifts).



> Because I seem to always make the mistake of starting multiple fics that I have no intention of finishing anytime soon.
> 
> (Luckily this is a one shot.)

"Can I drive?"

"No."

Peter folded his arms and raised an eyebrow. "How about we race to the car, and whoever gets there first can drive?"

Hank glared at him. 

Behind them, Erik and Charles walked side by side, without saying a single word. The tension was palpable. From behind _them_ , Logan walked, and he gave them amused glances.

Yeah, not just tension. There was definitely some sexual shit right there. Logan gagged. 

"You know, I could just steal the keys and hop right in and drive away," Peter said mischievously, running in circles around Hank. 

The older man finally broke down. "And _I_ could go right ahead and call your mother on my phone and tell her you're being an-"

"Point taken," Peter snapped. Hank blinked at his tone. The humor was all but gone from his voice. He stopped running in circles. "She's not my mom," He added quietly. 

Everyone glanced at him but nobody wanted to say anything. 

Everyone seemed fine with that.

They made it to the car and Hank slipped into the driver seat without Peter complaining. Hank in the driver seat, Logan called shotgun, leaving Peter to be the barricade between Erik and Charles in the back. And that was no fun, really.

Especially when Hank pulled over, halfway there, and handed Charles a belt and a bottle and a syringe.

"Whoa! _Fuck_ , you're a heroin addict?" Peter asked, scrambling to get away from the professor. 

"It's not heroin, it just allows me to walk," Charles said calmly.

"And it takes away his _goddamn_ mutation," Erik added under his breath.

Charles scowled at him. "A price I have to pay, seeing as you _shot me in the back and paralyzed me_!" 

That escalated quickly.

Peter's eyes widened as the argument grew louder, Charles and Erik taking out their anger right over him. Why did he get the middle? Not fair.

"And to top it off, you left me there, paralyzed, with no way of getting back!"

Erik scoffed. "You're fine now!"

"Yes, Erik, I'm fine," Charles hissed. "I'm absolutely fine when a man from the past tells me the future is ruined because my adopted sister is tortured and mutants will pay the price! I'm fine when I just broke you out of the Pentagon-"

"That was totally me!" Peter interrupted. He was ignored.

"-and I'm fine when I don't have my telepathy, and I don't have my students, or my sister, and more importantly I am addicted to a drug that enables me to walk, _Erik_. I'm perfectly fine when I haven't slept in days and-" 

Charles broke off. 

There was a moment where everyone just sort of looked at Charles without saying anything. The telepath closed his eyes. "Ugh, never mind."

And with that, Erik and Peter watched as Charles wrapped the belt around his forearm, tightened it with his teeth, and shot himself up.

Yikes.

Peter could tell Erik looked away, disgusted, when Charles had finished. He didn't think it was too gross; it was just like getting shots, only... more mutant-y.

Peter finally decided he couldn't take the unbearable silence any more. "Well, that was fun and all, but I'm just wondering where the hell we're actually going?"

Hank sighed. "Airport. Paris."

"Well, yeah- duh, I saw your airline tickets the moment you walked in my house. But why the airport? You do realize we just broke like, seventy laws? And we're all criminals? And you want to go to an airport?"

Hank's grip on the wheel tightened. Man, this kid was straining.

"We've got a safe route and a private jet. Should be fine."

"Hah," Peter said.

More quiet. 

"So. Why did we break a terrorist out?"

Apparently it wasn't choice words, because Erik whirled on him in a second and began spitting out how he was "trying to save JFK" and "wasn't a terrorist", and that led Charles back into the argument with shit like, "the bullet curved", and "humans and mutants can be friends", and Peter felt like the arguing might be a reoccurring thing.

Eventually Logan just gave up trying to calm them down and fell asleep in the front seat. Peter wished he could do the same, but they kept at it and Hank was showing remarkable resilience to the fighting. 

"This is just like Massachusetts," Peter groaned to himself. 

And- what? 

Apparently he just HAD to say that as soon as the married couple stopped fighting. For fuck's sake...

"What happened in Massachusetts?" Hank droned on.

Peter shrugged. "My adopted sister Wendy got put in jail in Massachusetts for her mutation. I busted her out. The whole way back she and my... Uh, adopted Mom... all they did was argue."

Charles and Erik looked equally pissed off.

"What's her mutation?" Erik asked softly.

Immediately Peter's guards went up. "Whoa- fuck no- fuck to the fuck no, man. You don't get to recruit my sister for your terrorist organization. Wendy and I are chill with non-mutants, bro. My mom isn't a mutant, my adopted mom isn't a mutant, my adopted dad isn't a mutant- they're all great. Don't kill them."

Erik took a deep breath at Charles's somewhat smug look.

"I'm sorry," Erik finally said. "That she was arrested."

"Yeah, it's whatever, man," Peter said sincerely. He wasn't one to hold a grudge, unlike these two raging imbeciles. 

They were nearing the airport when it happened. When Charles and Erik were getting into another match right over Peter's head. The teenager was ducking his head and resting it on the shoulder of Logan's seat. Logan was waking up, too.

"You could just listen! Things have changed!" Charles screamed.

"You think I don't know about change?!" Erik snarled. "I'm done listening to others and obeying- I'm fighting for what I believe in!"

"You said we wanted the same thing, on that beach in Cuba!" Charles had tears in his eyes.

"I lied," Erik spat.

_"Why?!"_

"Because I wanted you to come with me! Because I'm in love with you, you blasted idiot!"

The car swerved sharply and Hank barely got it back on the road. 

And, ooh, boy. Peter did SO not want to be in the middle of this. He closed his eyes and tried to ignore the movement behind him as the two men moved closer.

Fuck.

Erik grabbed Charles by the collar (right over Peter's back) and pulled him forward, closing the gap between them and pressing his mouth against the telepath's. 

When he pulled away they looked at one another in shock. 

"Just fuck already," Logan muttered, and with that, Hank let out a choked noise and his knuckles turned white against the wheel.

Peter stifled a snort. Of course he'd miss all the good stuff, because they were pulling into the airport runway where the jet was right as Erik and Charles were fighting to compose themselves.

Jesus Christ, those two. And Peter thought his _adopted father_ was bad, it was a miracle he wasn't related to them. Yikes.

But he stuff couldn't keep the smug look off his face when Charles threw him the car keys. Hank glared at him.

"Fine. Drive the car, Maximoff, but realize that I'm going to be piloting a goddamn jet."

Asshat.


End file.
